The Dreaded Honors English Class!
by Indigo StarLight Dragonsoul
Summary: What if Edward was walking down the hall of my Honors English class on the first day of school? What would it be like for him to listen on the minds of my classmates and I? Don't worry, he survives in one piece! One-shot, AU, some Edward torture involve!


**Hey Everybody!! Whatzupwitu? (hee hee!)**

**I had my first day in Honors English class on September 2nd, and I was terrified by it!! I have a very strict English teacher who's name I changed in this story to give her privacy.**

**This story came to mind when I thought, "Hmmm, what if Edward Cullen had been walking up the A-Wing hallway that day? What would have that been like for him?" and I came up with this funny one-shot of that horrid period from Edward's point of view!!**

**What the teacher, Ms. MacAulay, say in her speech is what I can remember of my own teacher's speech. The reactions of the students are what I thought they were probably thinking. I know that my mind was either blank with absolute shock or repeating "Oh shit, oh shit," over and over again.**

**As you've already noticed, there's going to be some swearing in here! So if that's not your thing, please leave the page now.**

**Anyway, enjoy!! And keep an eye out for a student that could be me in there!**

**-Sapphira Majoram**

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Edward Cullen slowly meandered up the hall of the A-Wing of the public High School. It was the first day of school and so far the unsuspecting new freshmen's minds were providing a source of immense amusement.

He had ascended the stairs to the second level of the A-Wing which every junior knew was the English/Language and Literacy level. But even the separation of the floor/ceiling from the lower hall wasn't enough to mask the incredulous minds residing beneath his feet.

Edward sighed. It was tough to obstruct others' minds when one was a telepath as powerful as he. It was always the most difficult on the first day, rebuilding his defenses again after the long summer of managing without. It was this coupled with other factors that made High School his own personal purgatory.

It was one disturbance in the general flow of thoughts around him that roused him. It was originating from Ms. MacAulay's room of Honors English for freshmen. All twenty-five students' minds were completely blank with what could be compounded as pure and undiluted shock. Ms. MacAulay's mind was professional and indifferent of the reactions of her freshmen students as she efficiently delivered her expectations speech.

Listening closely to the minds of the shocked students, he could discern what Ms. MacAulay was intoning.

"_Now this is a High School that is geared to get every one of you into a 4-year College. Other schools, such as Kefe Tech, are aiming for 4-year, 2-year colleges, the military, and work in general. But High Schools such as this, as geared to get you into the best possible colleges in the country. The Ivvy League and Harvard are two examples. Now not all of you will go to college, but for those that do, we are set up to give you the best possible chances of succeeding._"

Hmm…that doesn't sound too dire so far, Edward thought. He remembered his freshmen dictation and winced since he had been unlucky to get Ms. MacAulay himself that year.

"_…when you accomplish all the requirements on an assignment in honors, you will get a grade of C for in High School, C is average…_"

Some of the students' minds shook off the numbness of the shock and expressed their outrage in a myriad of ways, most involving colorful language much to Edward's displeasure.

_WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!_

_WHAT THE F***?!?!?!_

_WHAT IN BLOODY HELL?!?!?!?_

_WHAT'DYA MEAN "C" IS __**AVERAGE**__?!?!_

"_…so to get a B or B+, you must be prepared to exceed the requirements for an assignment. To get an A, you must include external sources, be prepared to use similes, metaphors, examples from the text, vocabulary from the E level, such as what you're going to be studying this year, and connections from the text to another book, your life, etc. So to keep the necessary B+ grade need to stay in this class, be prepared to work hard for your seat in the Honors class…"_

And that's where all the minds in the class combusted with exclamations. It was overwhelming for Edward to comprehend all the minds reeling in shock and horror from Ms. MacAulay's latest revelations.

_OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT…_

_OH MY F***ING GOD!!!! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!_

_YOU MOTHERF***ER!!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT TO US!!!!_

_OH BY MOTHER MARY'S BLESSING, I'M GONNA DIE IN HERE!!!_

It required from Edward a monumental effort to close his mind against the exclamations of unadulterated shock blazing through the mind of the students like a giant conflagration. He struggled to focus only on those whose minds were blank with shock so that he could hear what Ms. MacAulay had to say next.

"_…Now since you're in Honors by the recommendations of your teachers, you probably enjoy reading, or have fooled your teacher into thinking that you do. Here in Honors English, you will be required to read many novels before the end of the school year. First is __The Odyssey__, in which you might have read the novel before it, but you do not need to have read the first book to enjoy this. You will be expected to complete __The Odyssey__ within three weeks. It is easily a six hundred page novel._

"_The next book is __The Street Lawyer__, and the __Whirligig__. Since we don't have enough books of the two to go around, for there are three other freshmen classes who will be reading the same books at the same time as you, we will be switching off. We will be reading the __Whirligig__ fist while the others read __The Street Lawyer__, and then when we're done we will switch with the other classes for __The Street Lawyer__, and they will be reading the __Whirligig__. Then we will then be reading the __King's Servant__._

"_And then the end of the first terms rolls around. So we will have finished __The Odyssey__, __The Street Lawyer__, __Whirligig__, and __King's Servant__ by the end of this term which is in the middle of October…"_

_OH MY F***ING GOD!!! YOU'RE SERIOUS…_

_OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT…_

_OMG!!! WHAT THE __**HELL**__?!?!_

_HOW IN __**BLOODY HELL**__ CAN WE DO THAT?!?!?!_

_I LIKE READING BUT NOT __**THAT**__ MUCH!!!!_

_So how much does the College Prep hafta read 'cause if they read too much less than us, I'M GONNA SCREAM MY DAMN HEAD OFF!!!!! _

The exclamations started again, making Edward clasp his head in agony. _Shut up idiots_, he screamed mentally, to no avail. Slowly, the cries of outrage lessened and Edward could concentrate on what Ms. MacAulay was presently doing.

_…Ms. MacAulay was holding up a skinny little book and a clipped section of a monstrous literary textbook and was explaining that was what the College Prep classes had to read within the same term._

_WHAT?!?!?!?! THEY GET OFF EASY!!!!!!!_

_I COULD READ THAT IN A __**DAY**__ NOT A MONTH!!!_

_MAN OH MAN IS THAT A __**GINORMOUS **__DIFFERENCE!!! EEEK!!!_

_I WOULDN'T BLAME THAT POOR KID RUNNING OUT WHEN HE SAW THE BOOK STACK!!! I WANT TO DO THAT MYSELF!!!_

The thoughts were different this time, some more scornful than fearful, with others still so shocked that they couldn't think. Edward smiled; this was proving quite entertaining now.

"_…In honors, your expected homework load will be quite large. In fact it is average for a student to get two hours of homework per night per subject…"_

_WHAT THE F*** DID SHE JUST SAY?!?!?!_

_WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!_

_NO F***ING WAY!!!!!!!! NO WAY IN F***ING HELL!!!!_

_NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I HAVE __**THREE**__ HONORS!!!!! __**THREE**__!!!!!! I'M GONNA DIE!!!!!!!!_

_OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT…_

_I'M GOING TO DIE FROM HOMEWORK OVERLOAD!!!!!!! __**DIE**__ I SAY!!!!!!!!!_

_WHAT THE __**HELL**__?!?!?! __**TWO HOURS PER SUBJECT**__?!?!?! THAT'S…THAT'S __**EIGHT FLIPPING HOURS PER NIGHT**__, EVERY NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_…OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT…_

_MAY GOD TAKE MY SOUL NOW FOR I WILL SURELY __**DIE**__ HERE!!!!!!_

_I F***ING __**HATE**__ HIGH SCHOOL NOW!!!! THIS IS PURE DIABOLICAL __**TORTURE**__ CREATED BY __**DEMON-SPAWNED ADULTS**__!!!!!!!_

_F*** YOU HIGH SCHOOL IF YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME DO ALL THIS!!!!!! __**WITH LESS THAN SEVEN HOURS SLEEP**__!!!!!!!_

_GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA __**DIEEEEE**__!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

It was like Ms. MacAulay had lit a Hiroshima bomb and thrown it into the class to detonate. Groaning softly, Edward sank down to his knees grasping his head like it would burst, for it felt like it would. Every single student was shrieking in outrage and horror at the top of their mental lungs at the latest revelation; which only served to strengthen the pulsing pain in his head.

If Edward hadn't been in agony from every student's out cry, he would've found the whole situation quite humorous. Even though the minds of all twenty-five students were screaming in outrage, from Ms. MacAulay's point of view, their faces were suspiciously blank with only a widening or tightening of the eyes that revealed the turmoil within.

The mental torture seemed to drag on for ages before the freshmen's minds finally quieted down, sparing Edward more anguish. Shaking his head slightly, he warily got up from his cramped position against the lockers. Hesitantly he looked back into the minds of the Honors English class of freshmen, wary of any more mental attacks. He wondered what other unorthodox surprises Ms. MacAulay would drop on the poor children.

"_…now I'm going to stop right there so as to not scare you too much._"_ Ms. MacAulay smiled._

_TOO LATE WOMAN!!! __**WAAAAAAAY**__ TOO LATE!!!!!!_

_YA __**THINK**__?!?!?!?! THEN WHAT WAS THE REST OF THE SPEECH MEANT TO DO?!?!?!?!_

_F*** YOU!!! F*** YOU AND YOUR FALSE SMILES AND DIABOLICAL AGENDA!!!_

_IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER, YOU WERE TRYING TO BE NICE!!!! YOU. ARE. __**NOT**__. NICE!!!!!!!_

_…OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!_

_I'M __**DOOMED**__!!! __**DOOMED**__ I SAY!!!_

_TOO LATE FOR __**THAT**__ LADY!!!!! I'M SCARED SHITLESS!!!!!_

Shaking his head, Edward mentally drew back from the outraged and angry, shocked and terrified thoughts whirling in Ms. MacAulay's room like a miniature cyclone. Walking away to his next class, Biology in the S-Wing, he wished the doomed freshmen what luck he could give in what would turn out to be the toughest class of their life…

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**Hope you liked my little one-shot!! 'Cause I worked hard on it!!**

**If you review, I'll send you a teaser of my major story that I'm working (and stalling) on currently!! **

**Just remember to sign your review if you want the teaser!!**

***Mwaaaah!***


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